I sat down yesterday and read through my NaNo project start to finish and about halfway through I realized that there is a reason why I hated writing it so much - it is TERRIBLE! My FMC is a horrible, crabby, mean spirited shrew. My MMC is a human door mat under her feet, and my background characters are made out of extremely flimsy cardboard. In short, I have managed to do the epitome of everything I hate about fanfiction.
It's disappointing, my project from year two is awaiting it's second edit - I am hoping that this winter I can finally whip it into publishable shape. My project from last year - also fanfiction - was posted last Christmas to rave reviews. But that's life, right? With success comes failure. Even so, this isn't a complete failure. I did manage to get 53k out of this mess. It's another reminder of what NaNo is all about, writing just for the sake of writing - quantity over quality. Sometimes you get both, sometimes you don't. The important thing is doing your best.
So I'll be thinking of this, even as I slide my document into the recycling bin. I'll be reflecting on how it was worth it, each horrible, annoying stroke of the key on my way to 53k. Hell, it might not even stop here - that other bunny is still playing in the grass, and I still have ten days left. Maybe I can pull something good out.
I overcame great adversity during NaNoWriMo this year, I came into it 99% sure that I was going to fail. It's nice, for once, to be wrong on the side of good. I think this is going to give me strength while I continue to face our situation over the coming months. We have a lot to overcome still, but at least I can say that I have climbed one mountain and stood - victorious - at the peak.
And the view is lovely up here.