Day One - Growing Legs

Word Count - 1114

So here we are at the starting gate, day one of NaNoWriMo. YAY! Such an exciting time! I have to confess disapointment in my word count. Already, early in the game, I feel as though I am behind my potential - something I am hoping I will remedy later today when I attend my very first write-in.

Despite this being my fourth NaNo, there is a whole aspect of it that I have never experienced, at least not beyond the forums. Social NaNoWriMo. Write-in's and kick off parties and many other wonderful things that bring participants together.

I haven't for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is monster transportation issues. I gave up driving back in 2007 when my depression became really bad and my nerves couldn't take OTHER people's driving. Up until last spring, I lived in an area that had horrible bus service, limiting me to a very small window of time - a time that worked for pretty much no one else. I was also hindered by a thread hijacker who insisted on running our area with an iron fist and derailing any and all attempts to organize events that didn't fit into her schedule.

My deeper issue though was depression and social anxiety. I have dealt with depression most of my life and played the game like most people in my shoes. I spent my early 20's medicating myself with alcohol and drugs, useless boyfriend after useless boyfriend - getting rid of any who seemed remotely normal. When I became a mommy all that changed. My daughter became front and center in my universe. But the drawback of that was, she was the center of my social life as well which lead to my being borderline agoraphobic. I hate answering the phone, feel extremely uncomfortable around people that I don't know, can't stand to be in the home of strangers. Situations that I can't just easily get up and walk out of lead to panic attacks.

My daughter is twenty now, she is ready to go out and live her own life, she is leaving Mommy behind more and more. Which is why I have decided this is the year I am going to fully experience NaNoWriMo.  I am going to go to the kick-off write in today, I am going to go to the weekly write in on Tuesdays, I am going to go out and be among the people who make up the thousands who do this great challenge every year.

I don't know if I will actually get any writing done while I am there, I have ADD which makes writing in public rather difficult for me with all the distractions, but quite honestly - I have been living in silence for far, far too long. To quote Ariel - 'I wanna be where the people are'  

Also like her, this year, I am going to grow legs and walk among them.